Confessions of a Mama
Super honest Mom confession in 3, 2, 1…
When I lay my head on my pillow at night, I’m not always feeling super blessed to be a Mom and I’ve actually had moments where I honestly don’t enjoy it.
Yikes, yes I said it. If you’re judging me right now then this post might not be for you…or maybe it’s actually something you need to hear?
My reality during a season of my life was that I loved my kids with my whole being and would die for them in a split second but like low key didn’t find pleasure in doing crafts, homework, making charts with stickers, baking, breastfeeding, going on super long bike rides that make you sweaty, anything PTA or fundraiser related, watching Disney movies, having play dates, and for reals, kind of cringed at being pregnant and having one more kid. I’m serious. And beyond that, because of certain seasons of suffering, I didn’t understand why God would allow me to have the responsibility and burden. And because these were my real feelings, I felt like a terrible Mom. Like something was wrong with me.
It took me years to accept it, stop comparing myself to other Moms, to not be angry at God for the position I felt He put me in, and to embrace who I was and this journey. I arrived at a place of finding true joy in motherhood no matter the circumstances, and the main way I did that was through Christ. I realized that motherhood was in fact direct ministry and a calling given and entrusted to me by God. He chose me because He believed I was enough and it was part of my story. That in itself gave me so much hope and so much confidence.
Some of you just had a baby, and you’re juggling finding your energy and rediscovering who you are, while others are about to send their kids off to college and are dealing with anxiety and fear. Maybe you’ve been struggling to get pregnant and the pain of the journey has been so daunting. (Hold onto His promises, dear sister!) It could be that you’re the woman God has called to mother children that aren’t biologically yours and you’re wondering if you’re even equipped to take it on. Or you’re a grandmother and you still feel the weight of your grown children’s worries while still learning how to text your grandkids and make it to all their baseball games and dance recitals. Perhaps you’re like me and you have multiple kids spanning from the ages 3 to 14 and it feels like you just don’t have enough arms or headspace to give quality love, let alone still work a 9 to 5. Like, what’s up God? When is it my turn to chill?
If you can relate in any way, I hope you know that you are not alone. I hope you know that we are all the same. I hope you know that despite these very honest confessions, you are still filled with so much love to give and have what it takes.
I see you, I value you, and I honor you. And so does God. Oh fellow Mama friend of mine, I encourage you to embrace the seasons, to not find your sole worth and identity in your kids but in Christ and Christ alone. Continue to be patient. Try to keep learning and growing. And please, show yourself and other Mamas lots and lots of grace. You are worthy of it.
And hopefully, when you sometimes crawl to your bed at night after a long day of mothering, you find God’s peace and you wake up to His new mercies.
God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. Lamentations 3:22-24
Margeaux’s a worship leader, wife and working Mama of three! Beyond her love for food and coffee, her passion in life is to encourage vulnerability and to make people feel like they matter.