Why I’m Waiting for a Ring
I recently found myself sitting in a Christian Singles mixer in Orange County with friends. As a 31 year old single, these types of events are always so hilarious to me.
Number 1, they always include a comedian or laughter component, whether you are laughing that you are still single, or the ridiculousness that you have to deal with as a single.
Number 2, these events often have a low-attendance of males, and rarely offer a male perspective, so there isn’t much mixing involved. There was a speaker on the panel discussion one day that said, “Just because you made me dinner with carrots, does not mean I will sleep with you, I’m looking for a different type of karat.” The crowd erupted in laughter.
As a single person who still looks forward to a proposal, wedding, and marriage one day, I’d love to explore two avenues of waiting:
- Waiting for the Ring
I believe in waiting for the ring (marriage) before having sex. I have also never been kissed, which is not something I openly admit, but you might as well call me Drew Barrymore. I share this with you because I work with a lot of youth and college students, and I haven’t lost sleep over being what the world would call inexperienced. I am not waiting for my wedding day to kiss someone; but, like sex, I believe that physical intimacy is sacred. I believe that if you are a not yet married, but are a follower of Jesus, you are also pursuing purity. If we are truly pursuing Jesus and we trust and obey him, then purity and the pursuit of holiness is something that we will desire for our lives as well.
I believe that a step in pursuing purity is the significance of creating healthy boundaries. The word boundaries is difficult for some because Satan makes us believe that, in creating boundaries, we are only sacrificing and not gaining. I think some healthy boundaries can include space (in high school we called this leaving room for Jesus) and time limits. Give yourself a curfew of time with the person, whether on the phone, in person, or texting… set limits.
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. – 2 Timothy 2.22
The bible calls for us to flee from immorality, not run as close as we can to the line without crossing it. Every act of our obedience to Christ and purity is an act of defiance in the face of Satan’s temptations. In pursuing purity, we are seizing our territory back in the sacredness that sex is within the context of marriage.
- Enjoy the Wait
My life does not begin once I enter marriage; my life began the moment I was fearfully and wonderfully made. My singleness allows me to experience contentedness in Christ. If you are married, I hope that you still feel fullness in who you are in Christ as well. I recently read a book that had me practice saying, “Abba, I belong to you.” It’s actually a prayer of exactly seven syllables. Seven is the number of perfection within the bible, but it also perfectly corresponds with our breathing. Inhale- Abba. Exhale- I belong to you. Whether single or married, you belong to Christ first. Practice this prayer and breathing technique for the next week. Jesus is calling us into deeper intimacy with him.
Live a fun and exciting life- especially as a single. Go to that movie alone, order whatever you want off the menu, travel the world, go on that mission trip. I’d love to share my favorite restaurants with someone else someday, but for now I’ll eat my way through Yelp in hopes of becoming an Elite. Can I see the dessert menu please?
Jennifer has been a part of CCV for over ten years. She has a Master of Arts in Management from APU and currently works in financial aid for Los Angeles Pacific University. In her free time, she loves reading, drinking coffee, writing Yelp reviews, and travelling. She loves to laugh, has a huge heart for serving others and is obsessed with anything Magnolia related.